Variety isn’t just the spice of life—it’s also the best way to spice things up in the bedroom. Yet, in our busy, stressful time, it can be incredibly difficult to find the energy to mix things up with your mate. In fact, when you’re over worked and have a to-do list that’s miles long, it sometimes feels as if the only way to have sex at all is to pencil it into your schedule and get through it as quickly as possible. Keep that up for two long, though, and sex will become a chore—not something to enjoy.
That’s why it’s so important to bring variety back into your sex life. The first step toward mixing things up is being aware of any routines you’ve slipped into. Think carefully—when was the last time you had sex with your mate that wasn’t on a Friday night at the exact same time as the Friday night before? Is this the sixth time this month that you’ve done it on your side of the bed in missionary position? It’s not that there’s anything wrong with Friday night nookie or the classic standby position that is guy on top. It’s just that when you never waiver from your routine, the excitement starts to dwindle.
Don't be afraid to venture into unknown territory together.
Once you’ve identified the habits you’ve fallen into, make a conscious effort to change them. That doesn’t mean you can’t get it on next Friday night—it just means that you should try following that up with some Saturday morning loving. If you default into missionary, try woman on top instead. Once you’ve thrown in some of these simple changes, try taking things a step further. Experiment with more adventurous positions. Try your hand at a little dirty talking or roleplaying. Sure you may feel a little ridiculous at first, but you might be surprised to discover what you enjoy. Plus, even if you don’t enjoy it, you’ll get a good laugh in together. Levity can be pretty sexy, too.
Another great way to mix things up is to vary the location you have sex in. Don’t just limit yourself to your bed! Make a game of it—come up with a list together of five (realistic) places you’d like to have sex in, from your kitchen table to the backseat of your car. Then, don’t have sex in your bed again until you’ve checked off all of the locations on your list. You might be surprised to find that this is just the injection of newness your sex life needs, even if it turns out the table isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world to lie down on.
Perhaps the most important thing about trying to mix things up is the very fact that you’re trying. Making an effort together to keep your sex life interesting will bring you both closer together, and you’re bound to have a lot of fun along the way. Trying new things together can be the perfect reminder of what attracted you two to each other in the first place. It’s like entering that beginning phase—when everything is exciting and hot—all over again. Who knows? After a little experimenting, you two might even find that plain old missionary position on your regular night in your comfy old bed feels exciting once more.