Anyone who has read Emma or seen its modern day movie counterpart, Clueless, is all too aware that well-meaning matchmakers’ plans can go horribly awry. Sometimes, however, they can be quite successful. Our closest friends can often see qualities in ourselves that we cannot. Sometimes an outside party is better at knowing what type of person we’d be happy with than we are, simply because we’re blinded by what we think would be best for us. So when your friend offers to fix you up, you shouldn’t immediately turn him or her down. Of course, you shouldn’t blindly accept that friend’s offer, either. You need to contemplate just how well this friend really knows you, and then ask them some important questions about the person they’re hoping to match with you.
It’s important to asses your friendship with this matchmaker before you say yes or no to them. Is this person someone you consider to be a close friend, or a casual acquaintance? You need to be certain that your friend is someone who knows you really well. If they don’t, they could be setting you up with someone who is seriously mismatched with you. That doesn’t mean that your friend has to be someone who has known you since you were little kids. It just means that you should only let a friend find you a date if they’re truly close to you. If this friend isn’t the type of person you regularly confide in, they don’t know you well enough to successfully match you with someone.
Once you’ve deemed your friend a worthy matchmaker, you should make sure to ask them some smart questions about the potential date they’ve found for you. How long has your friend known this person, and how did they meet each other? What qualities does this guy or girl have that your friend feels makes them a good match for you? Do they know anything about this potential match’s past dating life? If you don’t like their answers, or if they don’t seem to know enough to give you an answer, it’s time to think twice. You should really only allow yourself to be matched up with someone that your friend knows well. They don’t necessarily need to know your potential date as well as they know you, but they shouldn’t be casual acquaintances, either. It’s fairly questionable if they can’t tell you at least a little bit of their dating history. It’s even worse if they seem to gloss over it. That could mean they’re hiding a promiscuous or unsavory past that they know you’d disapprove of. Your friend should at least be able to tell you if this potential date has had a girlfriend or boyfriend or two within the last couple of years.
If you’re certain that your friend is a trustworthy confidant, and you’re satisfied with the answers to you questions, move forward with the date. If you’re open to a full-on blind date, make sure to meet them at a public place. Have an excuse to leave ready, just in case the date bombs. If you’re too uncomfortable to jump into a blind date, ask your friend to help you set up a meeting in a group setting. Throw a small party or dinner at your place and have your friend bring Mr. or Ms. Match along. If that doesn’t work for you, suggest a night out with a small group of friends. Just make sure that you all go somewhere where you can talk, otherwise you won’t really get to know the person. Also, try to keep the amount of people involved small enough to feel intimate, but not so small that it’s awkward. If only you, your friend, and the possible match go out, it will feel weird and contrived. If there are more than six to eight people, though, you won’t get very much one-on-one time to talk.
No matter how you meet the potential date, make sure to give your friend feedback afterwards. Be honest, otherwise they might keep trying to match you up with the wrong kind of guy or girl. If the match doesn’t go well, you can also feel free not to use this friend for matchmaking purposes again. They won’t be hurt if they really care about you.