You love your friends. You love your S.O. There’s only one problem—they don’t seem to love each other very much. Sometimes there’s a good reason for the animosity between your boyfriend/girlfriend and your friends, and sometimes they just rub each other the wrong way. What can you do when you’re trapped in the middle? Spending all of your time divided between the two may seem like a solution, but it won’t work. Even if your partner is no where to be seen, that doesn’t mean your friends won’t snag the opportunity to criticize him or her to you. Same thing goes with your friends-free time with your mate. You’ll need to either intervene, or cut someone loose.
If you’re thinking that you’re going to have to choose between your S.O. and your friends, you’ve got a tough decision ahead of you. The first thing you need to consider is the validity of each party’s complaints. What have your friends said they dislike about your partner, and what has your mate commented negatively on about your buddies? Are either of their complaints valid? If your friends hate your boyfriend or girlfriend because he/she has cheated on you repeatedly, then they may have a good point. It might be time to trust your friends’ wisdom and dump your subpar partner, even if you still have a soft spot for them. If their only complaint is that they think he’s annoying or not good looking enough for you, though, your friends might need dumping.
If you feel that sacrificing your friends for your mate– or vice versa— isn’t an option, then you have to figure out how to intervene. You need to decide what you need from each person involved before you can move forward. Do you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to stop mocking your friends when they’re around each other? Do you want your friends to stop openly sulking when your S.O. comes along on a night out? Decide just what you can ignore and what you will no longer put up with. Then talk to everyone involved. Take your partner aside and tell them exactly what you need. Flat out inform him or her that he/she doesn’t need to like your friends, but they should learn how to tolerate them. Make it clear that you’re not going to choose one side over the other, but that you would just like everyone to behave nicely when it’s time to be in the same room. Then take your friends aside and give them their speech. Tell them that your mate is going to be nicer to them, but they have to return the favor. Say that you love your S.O. and your friends way too much to give up on either of them.
Once you’ve had your say, you may be surprised to notice that everyone behaves a little better. If there’s someone who doesn’t, then you really should question how much they care about you. If your boyfriend/girlfriend and friends love you as much as you love them, they’ll make a true effort to help remedy the situation. If they don’t, they’re just not worth it.
Online Dating can be tough these days, especially since you're dealing with strangers who can potentially make up whatever they want. Trust is delicate and should be earned. There are a lot of horror stories that highlight the dangers. Not long ago, a guy used a popular online dating site to meet, drug and rape women! Obviously that's horrible. The guy should rut in prison for life. Apparently he had multiple profiles, where he was a doctor, Astronaut, and even a CIA agent! He was also very charismatic and handsome. Many women thought that they met Mr. Right when they should have ran the other way.
So how do you check someone to make sure that they're genuine? The answer is surprise, surprise, the Internet. These days just about everyone leaves a huge amount of digital foot print. First to determine whether your date is even a real person, ask for some details, and then later on, see if they can reiterate the same thing. This should help you to recover inconsistencies.
You can Google or Facebook their names or email address to gather information. On Facebook, you can see their profile, or at least a friend list. If they have a lot of friends, that's good. If there's only a handful, then it could be a warning sign. They could be 1) just setting up their social networking account, 2) not having many friends, or 3) building a fake account. If you really get serious, you can even hire Internet Background Check companies. But usually require you to know more intimate details about a person. But it could be worth it to gain a piece of mind that the other person is on the level.
Internet dating can help you meet a wide range of prospective dates. Just keep in mind, every once in a while there could be a bad apple out there. Obviously don't treat everyone you date with suspicion and hostility. But instead do what political candidates do when they select a running mate, have a vetting process to uncover any potential pitfalls!
![one_night_stand[1]](http://www.truelovedirect.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/01/the-stickiness-of-a-one-night-stand/one_night_stand1-267x300.jpg "one_night_stand[1]")
One night, you went to the bar with a friend. You met a beautiful woman, hit it off right away, and you went home with her. You don’t need to make excuses or disguise it as something more meaningful. One-night-stands can be very fun, casual flings. If done correctly, you will think back on it fondly. However, there are certain sticky situations which can be brought about by such a rendezvous.
Do I sleep over?
Unfortunately, this is up to her, if it is her house in which you have found yourself romping. After the sex is over, pay close attention to her body language. Does she become standoffish or stop talking to you? That is a clear sign that she has had her fun and now wants you out. Put on your clothes, pick up your dignity from off the floor, and call a cab. However, if she is cuddly, playful, or chatty, she wants you to stay longer.
How do I get her out?
Let’s say you wind up at your place instead. If you are a gentleman, you will invite her to spend the night. If she refuses or if she stays, either way, you should offer to call her a cab or to drive her home right then or in the morning.
I don’t want to see her again.
Fortunately for you, this behavior is pretty much assumed from the start. If she asks afterward if she can see you again, you have two options: the truth and the lie. The truth will likely get you slapped, as you have just had your way with her and now she feels deceived. The lie (while I generally don’t condone lying) may be the better short-term option. “Yeah, definitely. We’ll go out soon,” then change the subject. If you can leave quickly without giving her your number, you will be in the clear. However, if she gets it and calls you later, now is the time to be honest and say, “I’m not really interested in a relationship right now.”
I do want to see her again.
Before she leaves (or you leave, as the case may be), ask her if you can see her again. Naturally, she will say yes so as to avoid an awkward situation (see above). Ask for her number, tell her how great she is, and how you can’t wait to see her again. However, be prepared for the cold shoulder, in the event that she just wanted a meaningless tryst.
What if I see her again unexpectedly?
This will undoubtedly happen if you frequent the same bar. How you react depends on how your one-night-stand went. If it was wonderful and amazing and worthy of telling your grandchildren about someday (although you won’t, of course), go and talk to her. Maybe you can make it a two-night-stand. But if it went badly or you said you would call and didn’t, well, the only thing to do is to run.
