"Strive to do something new and romantic at least once a week."
After years or even just months of being with someone you love, you might worry that you will one day run out of things to talk about. Chances are, however, your love will either grow or fade as time goes on. It does take some work to keep a relationship engaging, but it is more than worth it.
Don't Do Too Much At Once
You do not need to tell your new partner all of your secrets and childhood memories in the first few months of dating them. There is nothing wrong with keeping a few details to yourself. Being open and honest will enhance intimacy. But being too open can take all of the excitement out of the relationship.
There are a ton of great things you can do with your partner. You can go mountain-climbing, jet-skiing, and so much more. But making all of these exciting plans in one month will leave you at a loss for ideas. Strive to do something new once a week or every two weeks, depending on how often you see your partner. You will find that you never run out of ideas.
The same goes for sex. While the speed at which you discover your partner sexually depends on your own personal morals and ideals, taking it a little more slowly than you normally might will make your relationship more exciting. Many great relationships do start as one-night stands, but in most cases you should pace yourself.
Let Your Partner Take Over
Instead of looking for new things to talk about and do with your partner, give them a chance to impress you. You will learn a lot more about them if you simply listen to their ideas about what to do next. This is also the best way to stay on the same page. Taking time to really listen is the best way to show you care.
Sometimes, your significant other will want to do things that you will not be very interested in. Going to a wrestling match or a jazz concert might not be your idea of a good time, but making sacrifices will be worthwhile. This will also give you a chance to see your partner in their own environment. It is a good idea to know how your boyfriend acts in a sports bar with his buddies, for example.
Take Time Apart
Having your own hobbies and interests will allow you to develop as an individual while you are in a relationship. So long as you are able to balance your time between being apart and together, you will be able to feel as though you have a life outside the relationship, while still feeling connected.
By no means is it healthy to take breaks from the relationship altogether. Some really great relationships do withstand multiple breakups, but it can really strain your sense of trust and stability. If you find yourself in a situation where you keep breaking up and getting back together, try taking a long, hard look at whether or not you are benefiting from the situation.
By saving some surprises and allowing your partner to take the wheel at times, you will be able to keep a relationship strong and exciting for many years to come. Never forget that sense of attraction that you felt on your first date.
If you look in the dictionary, you’ll find that the word “aphrodisiac” means a food, drink, drug or other agent that arouses sexual desire. Do such foods and beverages actually exist? Throughout the ages, certain edibles have gotten a reputation for being aphrodisiacs. Which foods and drinks, if any, should you work into your meal for an extra sexy and romantic dinner date? Science and superstition can help you decide.
There are several foods and beverages commonly thought of as aphrodisiacs, including oysters, caviar, bananas, chocolate, truffles, spicy peppers, and champagne. There is a little science supporting the claims made in relation to some of these reputed aphrodisiacs. Oysters and caviar both contain high levels of zinc, a nutrient that figures prominently in the production of testosterone and making sure that a guy’s little swimmers are healthy. Pine nuts, also thought to be an aphrodisiac by some cultures, are also high in zinc. Bananas actually contain an enzyme called bromelain that has been shown to enhance performance in men, though their phallic shape and rich texture were what initially caused people to call them aphrodisiacs. Chocolate has been repeatedly studied, and scientists think there are some good reasons to consider it an aphrodisiac. Chocolate contains both serotonin, the feel-good chemical that increases when people are in love, and anandamide. Both of these neurotransmitters increase in our brains to cause feelings of joy and euphoria during sex, so eating chocolate can only further boost those sensations.
Other foods have been deemed aphrodisiacs for superstitious reasons. Spicy peppers are thought to be an aphrodisiac because they make you feel warmer and increase your heart rate, not unlike how your body acts while in the midst of intercourse. That makes sense, but eat too many spicy foods, and you’ll be too distracted by your stomach troubles to care about sex. Truffles have long been considered an aphrodisiac merely because their intense flavor helps to arouse your palate. The theory is that anything which wakes up your taste buds might wake up some other parts of your body, as well. Champagne also warms you up, lowers your inhibitions, and makes you feel giddy and blissful, similar to your body’s reaction during sex. Wine and other alcoholic beverages behave similarly, but if you go overboard, you’ll be more likely to pass out than get busy.
So, should you include any of these aphrodisiacs in your next romantic dinner? Go for it. A few oysters and a couple of glasses of champagne couldn’t hurt. Besides, you might experience a sort of foodie placebo effect. Just talking about the possible aphrodisiac qualities of the food at dinner might get you both in the mood. A lot of these foods also have the potential to be enjoyed in a rather sexy manner. Feeding each other bits of delicious banana dipped in chocolate fondue will probably get more than just your taste buds going. Just don’t overdo it on the alcohol or eat until you’re too full to move. Enjoy the food and drink in moderation, and you and your mate just might end the night with maximum pleasure.
Very few couples go out on dates every single night of the week. Maybe you’ve got young children at home or you’re low on cash, so you’re spending almost all of your nights together at home. Even if you don’t have things like kids or money problems keeping you at home, you might just prefer staying in. Sometimes you’re just too tired from a rough day at work to go out. Just because you’re not leaving the house doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your time together. You can have a date at home, as long as you make a bit of an effort to keep things truly date-like.
The first key to a successful night in is doing a little advance planning. That doesn’t mean you have to decide what you want to do several days in advance, of course. It just means that, once you know you’re not going to go out, you should figure out what you want to do at home. Check in with your S.O. before you head home from work. A quick ten minute phone call can allow you to decide what you want to do, that way you can pick up anything you’ll need before you get home (i.e. groceries for a special dinner, a movie to watch, etc.). More importantly, planning ahead will prevent you from getting home and settling into your same old routine. If you wait until you’ve gotten home, plopped onto the couch, and turned on the TV before you discuss your plans, it’s likely your at-home date night will never get started. You wouldn’t plan a date out five minutes before it happens, so you should treat date night at home in the same way.
When you and your partner decide what you’ll be doing for your date in, you should make sure to get a little creative. If you’re going to have dinner, make a meal that you love but don’t cook too regularly. Having the same soup and sandwich combo you had two nights before won’t feel like a date. It will just feel like another typical weeknight at home. If you both like to cook, make dinner together. That way, even the meal prep becomes a part of your date. If a normal night in involves watching TV together or reading in bed until you fall asleep, shake things up. Drink a cocktail or two while you play cards and trade flirty quips. It’s like going to the casino minus the possible loss of money. As a bonus, if you decide to play strip poker, there aren’t any security guards there to stop you. If you decide to go the movie watching route, turn your home into your own mini theater. Turn off all the lights, pop some popcorn or set up a candy bowl, and settle in side by side on the couch. Trade in movie-theater-style soda for a more adult beverage, and feel free to make out on the loveseat during the slow parts of the film.
Of course, having a good plan doesn’t count for anything if the atmosphere at home is all wrong. Just because you’re in your house, that doesn’t mean you should change into your comfy pajamas for movie night. Act as though you’re out on the town. Stay dressed in your work clothes or put on something nice that you’d wear out on a date. Sit at the table for dinner, not on your couch. Most importantly, shut out any possible sources of interruption. Set your cell phones on silent and put them in the other room, put the computer to sleep, and do your best to minimize interruptions from your kids and/or pets. If you’ve got cats or dogs, feed them right when you get home so you won’t have to drop everything later to get them their dinner. The same thing goes for the kiddos. Get the children fed and wait until they’re in bed to have your date night. Better still, if your parents or your partner’s parents live nearby, ask them if the kids can spend the evening with them. They get to have fun at their grandparents’, and you and your S.O. get a quality night in. Of course, that will take a little more advance planning, since you can’t just spring your children on your in-laws with no warning.
The key to a truly great night in is to break away from your typical evening routine and treat your house like it’s your favorite hotspot. It takes a little bit of planning, but the payoff is huge. Besides, it’s a lot easier to drop everything mid-date and head into the bedroom if the bedroom is just down the hall. What’s not to like about that?
