In our busy, modern world, it can be surprisingly difficult to meet the “The One.” Frankly, it can be pretty difficult to meet someone worth a second date. Yet many people manage to find their great loves, which is proof enough that it can be done. What if you’re having a rough patch, though? Instead of assuming that there’s something wrong with you, you might want to start questioning the places where you’ve been trying to meet potential dates. Certain kinds of people frequent certain kinds of places. If you’ve been meeting the wrong kind of person over and over, you’re probably looking for love quite literally in all the wrong places.

There are a handful of common places that people meet new love interests; school, work and bars or clubs are the most typical locations. School makes sense if you’re lucky enough to find your true love early on. If you’re both in the same major at college, or join the same club or organization, you’re bound to have common interests and lots to talk about. The workplace creates a similar environment, wherein lots of people with common work interests are together day after day. As long as you’re not breaking any company rules, it’s a pretty sensible place to meet someone. Bars and clubs can be a bit more troubling, though. If you’re looking for a simple hook up, meeting someone at a bar or dance club makes sense. The drinks are flowing, the vibe is fun, and lots of singles go out with their friends looking to meet people. However, these aren’t the kinds of places where you can have a good conversation or really get to know someone. It’s also hard to tell if you’re being sized up as a one night stand or not. Furthermore, if you’re going to the wrong type of bar or club, you’re probably meeting people with whom you aren’t ultimately compatible. If you want to make a serious connection, get out of the bars and go to places that speak to your interests.

There’s a surprising logic to figuring out where your search should begin. Are you a bookworm? Try the library or a book store. Do you love being outdoors? Head over to the park. If you’re not comfortable striking up a conversation with an attractive stranger while browsing through novels, don’t fret. Instead, look for activities that will help you meet others. The library or book store may have a book club night you can join. Your local park probably hosts all sorts of adult sports leagues that you could sign up to play in, along with groups for runners, walkers, and more. In a way, this allows you to recreate the environment you had in school. You’re thrown into a group with a lot of strangers who have common interests, not unlike when you take a class in college. Thanks to the internet, you can find all sorts of clubs and associations for grown-ups. Best of all, you’ll enjoy the bonus of making a lot of new friends. Volunteering is another great way to meet a potential romantic partner. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. If you like to garden, volunteer to help out with clean up and gardening at the park or another public green space. You’ll be sure to meet like-minded volunteers, and you’ll have the added benefit of making a good first impression through the good deeds you’re doing.

In addition to seeking out places and activities related to your interests, you might be surprised at how much potential everyday places can have. When you’re at the grocery store or waiting on line at the post office, don’t let the drudgery get in the way of a potential match. It can be easy to zone in on the task at hand and miss an opportunity to meet someone, so try being more aware of who all is around you. Next time you’re at the laundromat, head over to the available washer beside your cute neighbor and strike up a conversation. People are more likely to be themselves in everyday situations like these. In a bar, everyone is putting on airs, attempting to attract others, but when you’re on line at the supermarket, no one’s trying too hard. Another bonus of all of these places and situations, from heading to the library to volunteering at the animal shelter, is that there isn’t drinking involved. Beer goggles and bad, drunken decisions happen at bars or clubs, not when you’re doing your laundry or working out with your local Road Runners chapter. You’re much more likely to make a true love connection in situations like these.