Avoiding an Awkward First Kiss
You have just spent the last couple hours with a beautiful woman in which you shared stories of your childhoods and batted questions back and forth like a tennis tournament. It went off without a hitch—even better than you expected! Now you are driving her home, pulling into her driveway, locking the emergency brake…and you have no clue about what to do next. To kiss or not to kiss?
That final moment of the date can be unbelievable awkward. Even if everything leading up to it were perfect, the last two minutes can make or break the whole experience in her mind. First off, you do not want to seem too eager for the kiss, lest she think you are too pushy or desperate. On the other hand, aloofness can also turn her off if she thinks you don’t like her after all.
Decide the better setting: should you stay in your car or walk her to her door? While your car will afford more privacy, it isn’t nearly romantic or chivalrous as being escorted on one’s door. Shut off the engine and get out.
Start by studying her demeanor. Is she lingering, talking about what fun she had, how you should do it again sometime? Gushing over or recapping (going over funny moments from earlier) the date is a pretty good sign that she is into you. If she were not, she would probably rush through this part to get you on your way as soon as possible or just hop out of the car with a passing “buh-bye” over her shoulder. But if you sense hesitation, it’s likely because she is somewhat shy and you will be the one to make a move.
The best way to ease into a situation is to take her hand, thank her for the great time, then kiss the back of her hand gently. Corny? Maybe. Nevertheless, this move is ingenious. If the girl is not into you, you’ll sense it immediately. Yet it won’t be an awkward confrontation in which she pulls away and gasps, “Eek, get away!” You can just stop at the hand-kissing with no hard feelings.
However, if after your gentlemanly act, she beams and blushes and continues to linger with her hand in yours, she is clearly into it. At this point, you may either stop while you’re ahead or take it to the next step by leaning in for a kiss. While still holding her hand in one of yours, put your other hand at the back of her head, drawing her closer. This will also help you to guide her the right way, avoiding the embarrassing nose-bump or accidental tongue-to-nostril contact. Keep your hand there even after you have kissed, which will make her feel enveloped by you.
Finally, if you have not been kneed in the groin at this point, you can officially consider your first date a raging success!
Leave a Comment
Comments on Avoiding an Awkward First Kiss
Getting out of the car and escorting her to the door is solid. You’re right, even if it doesn’t induce kissing, it looks chivalrous and secure. Come to think about it, a recent date of mine would have ended better had I followed this advice.
Kissing her on the hand is also interesting. I can see it as coming off corny, as you write, but I suppose that really depends on the guy’s attitude. A sheepish grab followed up by a fumbling kiss is sure to come off awkward and self-serving. Doing it skillfully, looking warmly into her eyes, and framing the situation within the context of a positive mutual interaction rather than seeing it as you, the guy, trying to get a kiss from her – that should make for an enticing moment and leave a very positive impression.
Generally, I find it useful to gauge our first kiss by the tension and energy in the date. If it felt like an obligatory interview session, I wouldn’t even try. But if you both clearly had fun, there should be a buildup of sexual energy, a tension. If in doubt, you can often see this in her eyes – if they’re sparkling and full of life, if she’s smiling and joking in a way that evokes an image of a mischievous little girl, then kissing is a go at any time, not just at the end of the date.